i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
