oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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