What a fucking waste of an outfit
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
