just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
