im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
