I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
