I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
