I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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