Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
