Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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