Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
