im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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