Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
