I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
