she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
