I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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