This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
