I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i think i just lost a toe
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
