Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize