White coat. Heels.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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