He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
