Porn is love you can see.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
don't judge my taste in strippers
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