Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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