Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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