It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
