he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
