And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
