I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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