So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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