That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
