I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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