He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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