he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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