He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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