If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Randomize