I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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