I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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