I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
