the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
