WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
