He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
