Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
