The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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