Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
