i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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