ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
