the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
