Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
