I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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