He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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