she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I will pee on everything he values.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
