Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
