1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
