my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
babies were throwing up all over the place
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
