It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
