literally had 100 drinks last night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
